Interestingly, often we come across men who may suffer
from one, but still take a self-righteous mine-is-not-as-bad-as-yours kind of
position when pointing at other addicts. In other words, a drunkard thinks his
problem is nothing compared to that of a compulsive gambler, a sexual pervert
or even a habitual smoker. The seemingly cool-headed man who can’t take himself
off drugs expects his partner to thank God that he is not like the physically
abusive drinker or those unfaithful men who go after everything in skirt and
taunting shape! Can there ever be a consensus on which of man’s vices is worse
in terms of its capacity to self-destruct?
These are trying times. Disturbing occurrences bordering
on degraded personal finances are undeniable fallout of a
worsening economy occasioned by the current global pandemic. Incidentally, a focus
on vices becomes even more relevant now for this very reason. it is thought
that some vices are counter-cyclical, having the tendency to rise substantially as
people get increasingly attracted to them in search of solace from the gloom of
adverse experiences. If this is true, then this season may have witnessed an
increase in the number of those engaged in some of these practices, drugs
especially. Experimental use often leads
to addiction and without timely help, destruction occurs.
It has a predictable end. It’s like being saddled with
garbage. Very few men who suffer the weight of any of these vices ever attain and retain enviable heights in business or career. Rather, examples abound of men who were brought
down from high positions or who never rose to the altitudes envisaged of their huge
potential due to the problems of one form of addiction or the other.
Having previously written extensively on Man’s
sexual addiction and immorality (see Deboluwajiblog.blogspot.com } I
feel inclined to share here my opinion on the rest while citing the cases of
people I know whose worlds came crashing down due to these other bad habits.
Take Segun, for instance. He was a young man of 28,
with a wife and two kids. A first-class
graduate of Pharmacy, he was then based in Kaduna as the Regional Marketing
Manager of a renowned Pharmaceutical company. He was hard working, resourceful
and was doing so well that the sky seemed like just the beginning. Besides a
fat salary, other incentives attached to his position were certainly uncommon
among his peers, making him a house owner at such relatively young age, he had
good cars for himself and wife and could afford to send his children to one of
the most expensive private schools in the city. He seemed like a young man set for
the topmost top. Until drugs came into
the picture. Surprisingly he got
persuaded by some newfound friends to ferry drugs. From a carrier he graduated
into a user, ultimately becoming a caricature of his old bubbling self.
By the time his family noticed the gradual change in
him he was already on an irreversible descend; he lost his job and began to
sell assets gathered over the years one after another to feed his insatiable
addiction, until he was left with nothing, the house being the last to go! Efforts to save his marriage came to naught
and the wife had to relocate along with the two kids to her parent’s place in Abeokuta,
South West Nigeria. Segun died a miserable drug addict. On the street!
Johnson’s case, on the other hand, was about his addiction
to gambling. The only son of his parents, the vast multi-million-dollar estate
left for this foreign trained, ivy-league educated young man by his deceased
parents had come to near total ruins by 2019, less than 10 years of their demise due
to his high-level gambling. He is a valued patron at choice casinos home and
abroad. Due largely to his addiction
problems, what was once a leading Industrial estate in the old western region
is today a mere shadow of its old self, with many of the production factories
closed down one after another due to undue interference in their financial
administration by the gambler Chairman! He is presently in his third marriage.
Finally, Chinedu’s story is a different one entirely. He
didn’t fritter anyone’s fortune, neither his own nor any inheritance. He simply
never rose to his potential due to drunkenness. Almost a wizard in Mathematics and
the core sciences in his undergraduate days, dozens of those who leaned on him
to attain academic successes later rose to marvellous positions in private
business and public service, including some getting enviable international appointments
while Chinedu remained a happy go lucky Secondary School teacher. Never kept a
job for more than a couple of years in this career from which he eventually retired
with almost nothing to show for the exceptional brilliance that once distinguished
him.
These true-life stories illustrate some of the many
ugly consequences of negative habits that are allowed to become addictions.
Living in a Fool’s Paradise.
Addiction takes off from the first day introductory
stage, and with increase in regularity and volume of involvement over a long
period of unchecked cravings, the captive is led into a journey of no return.
There are dimensions to the problem as there are
differences in the chemicals, drugs or games on which people get addicted,
often depending on the means. The
gambler starts with harmless pools or games betting till it becomes an
obsession that stops at nothing including stealing to satisfy the urge. However,
those are at the masses level. Gamblers who are financially capable have a
thousand and one exotic platforms on which to spend their money or waste their assets!
Sometimes they get lucky. Many times, they lose heavily. It’s all fun.
For the
drinker, from two bottles of beer he graduates into a taking dozen at a sitting
without the slightest intoxicating effect. Men who are restricted to cheap local
gin for lack of finance invariably have the same end result of damaged organs
and health problems as those who are hooked on the most expensive liquor. The
drug user starts with simple Marijuana, codeine and common drugs meant for pain
killers but which users have discovered could give them a sense of euphoria or
feeling ‘high’. From there to cocaine,
hashish, club drugs, other stimulants
containing cannabis, including inhalants, opioid like heroin, morphine,
codeine, and many other destructive substances.
Where does addiction starts?
When the thought of every other thing becomes irrelevant, an
addict progressively needs more to get the same old effect, if a student, his
academic performance is impaired and may become careless about his appearance.
An addict soon begins to spend beyond his means to assuage his desires, going
to desperate length like begging on the street, lying to friends or
acquaintances to get money, stealing etc just for the sake of getting the drug
or whatever else he is hooked on. At
home, he begins to slack in his responsibilities, or may become temperamental. At work, decline performance, absenteeism and
disgraceful behaviour may lead to eventual loss of job or business decline.
Back to the Beginning.
Sometimes addiction has its foundation in the home. The
Yorubas have a saying: Amunkun eru e wo. (Reacting to the observation
that what he carries on his head is slanted, this man with unsteady gait
simply drew the attention of the commentator to his wobbly legs).
While much has been said about the negative influences
of keeping wrong association, the home plays a vital role that is often ignored
in any discourse. A parent who is into drugs or has drinking or gambling
problems has increased the tendency of the children to pick up the habit, first
secretly and then openly. Even where parents and guardians set the right examples
by living clean and exemplary lifestyle, they still bear the responsibility of
vigilance, and having the wisdom to combine discipline with friendliness that would
encourage confidences of the children.
When
children and adolescents are faced with peer pressures the bond that exist
between them and parents minimizes the risk of them being lured into drugs. There is yet the case of a couple I know who didn’t
handle their disagreement and eventual separation wisely, playing the
only son between them to and fro as a cheap item of blackmail and ignoring the
disturbing effect their immature altercation was having on the poor boy until he took succour in what his peers
offered. It was a sorry case.
Getting Help on addiction
It is common to see people
struggling with addiction deny that their drug or alcohol use is problematic. They are often reluctant to seek treatment. Some play on the emotions of sympathisers
by momentarily faking remorse and readiness to welcome help without deeply
meaning it. Dropping the habit is not easy but it is achievable if parents, friends
or anyone trying to help an addict remains resolute. The point to step in is
the stage you observe it, knowing that the problem can always get worse. There
are special hospitals, counsellors, clergy and professionals which can provide
a loved one with the needed structured programme for change.
My question remains though, of these vices
– drug addiction, drunkenness, gambling and sexual promiscuity, which is man’s worst
problem?